JOY!

Joy

the word that has jumped out at me this morning.

Joy in the little things, not just the big things.

Joy in watching a 5 year old eat a piece of cheese pizza,

with pizza sauce from one cheek to the other, 

laughing as she talks about her day.

Joy when struggling with a decision, knowing that

with the help of the Lord HIS Joy will shine through me.

thank you Lord for your word for me today

JOY

Jesus

Others

You (or self)

Something I was taught many years ago,

it's not about me or what I have 

it's about trusting and believing in

Jesus,

Loving Him

and then loving others as HE as loved me

and does love me.

Lord as this new day dawns,

help me to show Your love to those we come into contact with,

especially as we prepare for a new day with these 

three little's you have entrusted in our care...

Lord thank you for this second chance of being a good parent

to those who don't have a mama or daddy to love on them;

guide us as we nurture and love on them

and also as we love and continue 

our relationships with our own sons and their families. Amen.

Wondering about a Dream I had.

I woke up just after 5:00 this morning from a strange and disturbing dream....

I was at an apartment complex/condo of some sort and two little boys came into the room I was in and was laughing and talking with each other about how they just shot and killed some lady and who could they kill next.  I don't know how I did it but I grabbed their guns and made them sit on the couch while waiting for the police to arrive.

In the apartment/condo with me was my Pastor, Charles, a girlfriend but I couldn't identify her, my lawyer and someone else I couldn't identify and we were all busy gathering evidence all the while being very aware of what the little boys had done.

I was very unsettled when I woke up...why do little boys have guns?  who are they killing?  thankful I was able to over power them and hold them till the cops were able to arrive and that I wasn't alone.  I then opened my email and this was the top email...my verse for the day...

Christ has redeemed me!!!  

No matter what has happened or is going on

Christ has redeemed me!!!

I sent out a quick message to our BBYR Ladies Prayer group along with the above scripture that I read, said a prayer of thanksgiving to the Lord for His timely Word, rolled over and slept for about another 90 minutes.

Thank you Lord for a new start to my day!!!

Frustrated...

LONG POST!!!!
Today is filled with lots of frustration...frustration that the insurance company now has the power to decide what medical care I am able to receive and what medications are okay for me to take...okay this is not a new frustration...we have had multiple times where myself or one of the boys or Ron has gone to the doctor and the doctor has said "I want to you to have "this test" so we can find out what is going on with XXXX"  only to have the insurance company say they are not going to authorize that procedure or test.

Recently I have had my doctor request two different diagnostic tests...a ct scan for a possible femur fracture and a ct scan w/contrast to see why my liver tests/numbers all came back way higher than they should...nope, can't happen because the insurance company says "not medically necessary!"

Why oh why has our society gotten to the point that the almighty dollar/insurance company profits dictate our medical care?  And please don't say this is a Trump issue...it is not....I can think of two instances: one in 1992 when our son was having a heart procedure done and the insurance company approved the procedure and an emergency open heart surgery if needed and when the doctors did the procedure the first time it did not work, so they ran the procedure a second time and it worked!!!  Thank you Lord...it was as if our son had never had a heart problem which could have killed him if it was not protected....but wait, the insurance company refused to pay for the second procedure because it wasn't pre-authorized!!  After months of haggling with the insurance company and finally contacting the president of the insurance company (I personally knew him through my position at OptionCare) and described what was happening even he had to agree it was a no brainer for the them to pay for the second procedure ($15,000) vs if he would have had to have had open heart surgery ($100,000's)....

and in 1974 when I had to have my eye removed due to a medical issue and the insurance company told my mom that they would not cover a prosthetic eye for me because it was cosmetic!!!  Cosmetic!!!  what was a 16 year old girl supposed to do?? walk around with a pirate's patch for the rest of her life?????  Thankfully a good friend of my mom offered to and paid for my first artificial eye ($500)....so again this is not a new issue

but all this leads to my frustration today!!!  Society needs to change and let the doctors do the doctoring and the insurance company which rakes in millions of dollars a month pay the dang medical bills and stop trying to be the dang doctor!!!!

********
Frustration #2 - Facebook....I will be taking a self-induced break from FaceBook (after I post this link to this post)  I am tired of the negativity that people think they have the right to spew at me, at people in general when someone, me, post something on Facebook...what I have realized is that people only read what they want to read, just like our 10 year old foster daughter listens to only what she wants to listen to, they don't ask for more information before making rude or condescending comments they just assume they know the whole story....

So I have made the decision to just continue to use Messenger to keep in touch with those who I correspond with that I can't reach other ways, and live in the real world of writing letters/emails, calling/texting on the phone and in person, face-to-face conversations where maybe I won't be attacked or judged by people who only know what they think they know and not the whole story.

So...you can reach me through Messenger, telephone, text, email or even comments on my blog.  That is if you really want to have a real relationship with me and not hide behind your computer screen and make judgement calls with little or false information.

Questioning

Lord, I come to you this morning asking you to reassure me that things are the way they are supposed to be...Lord I am really wondering what I am doing?  I know in my head you have led us where you want us but this morning my heart is asking am I here for the right reasons? 

I have lots to do this morning/today Lord...help me to dwell on You and Your love for me, to keep trusting You and I ask You to guide me each and every step and with every word that comes from my mouth. 

Lord help me to show Your love to each of those I come into contact with.  I need You more than I could ever imagine.  Amen.

Seeing Life through the eyes of an 8 year old!!

This morning as I was getting ready to go to the grocery store, little AB, 8 years old, said "Ms Ali I've never been grocery shopping with you can I go with you please?"  Sure you can!! was my reply.

So off we went with our 

in hand.  AB had strawberry and I had blueberry...AB asked if I wanted to trade one of his for one of mine...sure we can!!!  

After arriving at the grocery store and each of eating our last bite, we began walking into the store.  AB says "Ms. Ali if we get the water first we won't forget it."  Smart cookie there!!  So we put the 5 gal water bottles in our cart and off to the produce department.  First up are bananas and then a salad to go with dinner.  Then followed a conversation of having chili cheese dogs for dinner...sounds good to me...so we bought some hot dogs (already have chili and cheese at home) and got some hot dog buns too!  Picked up cereal: requests for Fruit Loops and Lucky Charms...no problem...then picked up some other groceries like grapes, bananas, pickles, multi-vitamins and 4 gallons of milk...these kids sure like their milk!!

AB was such a  big help, he organized the groceries in the cart so we wouldn't squish the hot dog buns, put the milk on the bottom so we wouldn't drop it, 4 bags of cereal fit real good on the bottom with the milk...as we were loading the groceries into the truck, AB says "Ms Ali, I like going grocery shopping with you...you let me pick up the heavy stuff and that's good because boys are supposed to help with the heavy stuff right?"  Oh, AB thank you for being my helper today!!  It was fun to see how you do things!!!

Once home, lunch was had by all...good ole peanut butter and jelly...how many sandwiches can eight kids eat...16...and one ate four of them!!!  I'm giving thanks I don't pay for the groceries around here.  And tonight those same eight kids had 16 hot dogs between them with the 4 and 5 year old only eating one!!  It is fun to see kids enjoying eating!!

Breakfast tomorrow is French Toast...wonder how many slices I will have to fix??

One thing we do at dinner time is go around the table and each person shares their low point and high point of the day...a few of them said saying good-bye to DP who left today to go back and live with his mom...we are all excited for him yet a little sad because we will miss his laughter, sense of humor and even those stinky feet!!!

Now everyone is settling down for the night so this HP Mama is going to pick up her crochet hook and work on a moose and a baby blanket...

Talk to y'all again soon!!

I'ts Been Awhile

Whew...where has the time gone?  Can't believe it's been two months since I last visited this place...I used to come here faithfully every day, then every few days, then once a week or so and now it's been over two months!!!

I have wondered about keeping my blog off/on over the years and I truly do miss journaling on a daily/every other day schedule.  I think for many reasons I have stopped yet lately I am feeling the need to pick up the pen (or keyboard) and write again but then Satan gets in my head and says things like "you better not say that because..." or "who really cares about what you and Ron are doing?" or "nobody reads your blog any way" or "what do you hope to see happen if you write about ?"  and the thoughts keep coming and coming and then I step away from the keyboard...

...then today as Ron left to go to Men's Bible Study and the kids are outside playing for a few more minutes I thought...hey hit the keyboard and almost immediately the thoughts started BUT I have plowed through and sat down here...

What's on my mind?  

FRIENDSHIP

I am so blessed to have friends, good friends, a BESTIE and acquaintances in my life.  I think have a lot more friends than many and I am so thankful for each of them.  Today though, I want to share about a few of them...

My longest relationship is friend, Corrine from high school...we lost contact for awhile but with the help of Facebook I reconnected with her brother and then her...I am so glad.  We have only physically seen each other once since graduation in 1975...YES that was a long time ago but each time we talk, write and yes, when we got together in Colorado a few years ago it was like a day had not passed between us.

I have a friend that I made when we were stationed in Holland, again we have only seen each other once since we left Holland in 1979 but we have watched our families grow with our own children and now with our grandchildren.  Connie and I come from very different backgrounds and have very different beliefs about some things but we are still friends.  I always get a smile on my face when I think of her and especially when I see the little sheep ornaments she and the kids made for us one Christmas.  

And from our time at McChord AFB, now Joint Base Lewis~McChord, is my mama best friend...we have nursed each other's babies...YES we did...we have flown across the US to see each other for special occasions like graduation from college.  We have cried with and for each other and I know that whenever I pick up the phone Merel is on the other end she will love me, laugh with me, cry with me and pray for me...we have been there when our father's passed away and when our mom's have been sick.  I am blessed to be able to share my grandbabies with her and she shares her furgrands with me...we are sisters of another mother and I am so thankful to call her my sister (one of many).

There is my Mom, Friend, Sister, Co-worker, Confidant and Counselor who has walked so many miles with me...we have been separated by miles yet we are never far apart from each other.  Lynda and her hubby, Jerry are not only friends, they are part of our extended family...they have counseled us through some rough times and been there to celebrate for the wonderful times.  We may not write or talk every day but when we do it's like we were just together the day before.  Through my friendship with Lynda I have another "mom" I can call...Kathy...she has helped me through some rough times and encouraged me on difficult days yet smiled and laughed together so many times we can't keep track...and isn't that how friendship should be...

My BESTIE...Dee...I love her more than any sister that could be blood to me...we have laughed, cried, argued and not spoken but through our love for the Lord and each other we have always found our way back to each other.  I think Satan picks on our relationship because we are so special to each other...if I don't hear from her after a few days, Satan puts those thoughts of "she doesn't like you, she's mad at you, you said something to piss her off"...Satan never says "she loves you BUT JESUS brings us back together with an email or a post on Facebook...we have gone years without seeing each other but boy do we make up for it when we are together...like a six hour coffee date!!!  Only a Bestie would spend that much time on a hard chair at Woods!!!  

Oh, so many names are going through my head...Mary, Norma, Donna, Amy, Rachel, Barb, Sallie and so many more...I am truly blessed to have so many wonderful women in my life and I even have a few great men in my life...besides my hubby of almost 44 years!!!  Oh what my life would like without Ron...nope, don't want to go there.  And then there is Jack, Jerry, Gary, Charles, Jim ~ oh how I will never forget our first meeting, Gerald and a few who are no longer here on earth: Curt, Al and Don...

I know I have not listed everyone...how could one person do that...

I just know that friendship, true friendship is a gift from God and I am blessed with so many

one of the things I want to do in my life is to be intentional in my friendships,

friendships are not on a one-way road but a two-way road where we meet along the way, sometimes in short distances, sometimes it seems forever.  

Friendship...what does that mean to you?

Greetings from Blue Bonnet Youth Ranch

Our view here at Blue Bonnet Youth Ranch from our little home on wheels!!!

We spent last week at Colorado River Thousand Trails,

attended Cowboy Church of the Hill Country on Easter Sunday,

and then traveled last Sunday to BBYR

where we met up with our friends, Jack & Donna.

After chatting with Stephen, the administrator it has been decided we will be the Full-time Relief Home Parents working Friday afternoons to Monday mornings and filling in for vacations and emergencies.  We are excited for this schedule to begin but that won't be for a couple of weeks or so as we need to complete their training, get our TB/drug tests ~~ which I chuckle as I remember the time we were working for Funtastic Shows Carnival and Albert came up to us as we were pulling into the Portland yard letting us know THEY were doing random drug tests...and we said no problem and he kept saying "you don't understand, drug tests"  what he didn't understand was that was NOT a problem for us!!!  

We will have a two bedroom, two bath apartment for our main residence and then a suite in each cottage (like a hotel room ~ private bath, living/sleeping area) when we are on duty so we won't have to be moving stuff around each week.  I will take pictures once we are settled in!!!

We  will have a place for any of y'all that want to come visit!!!  We can't wait to see some of you come this way!!!!!

Our two weeks off between gate~guarding and arriving here at BBYR was spent sleeping at night and being awake during the day or at least I should say tried to sleep at night and be up during the day :)

I still have times where I wake up at 3a and think I need to get ready for work.  Heard from some friends, it took them almost 3 months to get back into a normal schedule.  Sure hope it doesn't take that long!!!

Our phone numbers are staying the same ~ if you want our address let me know!!!

Wishing each of you a blessed day!!!