Please God...

Sometimes, like yesterday and today, I wish God would just come sit next to me on the couch or on the foot of my bed and tell me what to do...

I trust and believe this verse

but sometimes, okay lots of times I wish He would literally come and sit with me...

and though He physically didn't sit next to me this morning,

He reassured me over and over this morning

And this sums it all up!!!

Lord you know what's laying heavy on our hearts

and we come to you asking for you to be clear with us and to give us that 

Thank you for loving us just as we are!!!

Amen!!

Agape Love ~ Time with the Lord

In a little Bible study group I belong to one of the gals talked about Agape Love.  

And I realized I need to love myself with that same love...

sacrificial love...it's not a feeling...it's an action

God loves ME

He is not passive and 

I need to love myself

intentionally!!!

Without the  Lord walking beside me

I walk in vain.

I am not expected to do everything on my own

BUT

with God's help

Lord thank you for loving me enough

to meet me right where I am today,

needing encouragement 

that I am lovable

just as I am

"Just As I Am"

Just as I am, without one plea,
But that Thy blood was shed for me,
And that Thou bid’st me come to Thee,
O Lamb of God, I come! I come!

Just as I am, though tossed about
With many a conflict, many a doubt;
Fightings and fears within without,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come!

Just as I am, and waiting not 
to rid my soul of one dark blot, 
to thee whose blood can cleanse each spot, 
O Lamb of God, I come, I come. 

Just as I am, poor, wretched, blind;
Sight, riches, healing of the mind;
Yea, all I need, in Thee to find,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come!

Just as I am, Thou wilt receive,
Wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve;
Because Thy promise I believe,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come!

Because Thy promise I believe,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come!

Thank you Lord for loving me!!!

Feeling Discouraged ...

Yesterday was a hard day for me,

a day of coming to Jesus meeting again...

...about my health

and before I continue

I know...

but sometimes it's hard to remember

not to be hard on myself.

I think back to a counseling session with Tom...

Awareness

+

Contact

=

Change

I found this...

I had a real hard time falling asleep last night,

my mind was having a hay day

of the things I know I  need to do

and sleep just would not come.

When sleep finally came

I had crazy dreams...

dreams of conflict and arguing

and sitting on Pastor C's couch and crying,

seeing Marla T and asking

"why can't I just change?"

"how come I don't have enough will power to do things differently?"

When I turned on my laptop this morning

this was the verse/art for the day

I want to be like Job...facing the difficult things

without complaining or making excuses.

Yesterday is over, can't change the fact I ate 3 donuts!!! It is what it is!!!

Spoke to Dr. S...need to see her in one month

A1C is 11!!!  Extremely high...causing some confusion as I have lost weight but A1C is out of control...I do make good food choices once in awhile, even a couple days in a row

but then I fall back and go for the donut or the Milky Way candy bar.

So I need to...

and

and remember

So for today

I have a plan...to...

drink my water,

eat a healthy breakfast,

make a healthy dinner for Ron & I

and to walk some extra steps when I check in trucks throughout the day.

Spend some time in the Word,

focus on the positive...

and look forward to the day,

bring a smile to a driver's face

and try real hard to give myself the grace that I so easily give to others,

acknowledge I am not perfect,

and I have a second chance to make good food choices today.

Replace the negative feelings

with positive ones!!

and now NOT feeling so discouraged

BUT

encouraged!!!

Reminders for Today...

...figuring out Titles for my posts seem so hard for me

so today I just went with simple...

Reminders for Today....

I slept well last night, a good reminder that good, restful sleep is a positive thing!!!

Time with the Lord this morning seemed to be all over the board,

but that's okay, because my mind is all over the map this morning.

God calls us to be Peacemakers...I am not always a peacemaker, more like a troublemaker.  Never thought of it as SIN, but more like rocking the boat, playing 

the devils advocate, putting my two cents out there...maybe I need to really think about this verse...being a peacemaker.

This picture reminds me of one of the views on our drive from Cedarcreek into Branson.  Water is always calming to me, probably why I like to take baths and showers to help me relax...on a side note, I miss my bathtub so don't be surprised if we are visiting you and I ask if I can take a bath :)!

Peacemaker...not causing strife

Lord, help me to be the peacemaker not the troublemaker.

Peacemaker...sharing love with one another

Lord, help me to share your love with those I come into contact with,

whether in person or through the phone or my fingers.

this verse really jumped out at me

as we prepare to leave our position as gate guards

(we don't actually guard a gate...)

in May of 2019 to do some traveling, see family and friends,

and rest...really rest.  Like I said above,

I slept well last night 

but our schedule is not really restful

and everyone needs to rest at times.

We make plans, we pray about them,

we seek counsel from others,

we plan where we will stay, who we will see and

some of the things we will do...like swimming with the grands!!!

But through it all we know the Lord is the one who is in control

and we need to be flexible in our hearts and minds for whatever comes our way.

Do you make plans?

What do you do when those plans change unexpectedly?

Again, my mind has been on Tess and her children,

they had plans as a family,

and yes, I believe the Lord is in control and doesn't intentionally cause his children to hurt, but HE is with them (and us) every step of the way.  I can pray for the Lord to comfort Tess and the family, help them to get to a place to see the good in life once again...most of all I pray that they are surrounded with those who love and care for them.  And that they KNOW they are not alone even though I am sure they are feeling very lonely and alone without Jory right there with them.

and then this verse appeared in my reading

...what a great reminder that GOD is greater than anything, anything we feel, anything we have to deal with, anything!!!!

Changing topics here....

The other day I was watching Dr. Phil and something he said caught my attention.  One of the guests said something about not having willpower and Dr. Phil's response was  "it's not willpower, it's programming."

WOW...that made me think, so I did some research and found this where he talks about it a bit more...

5) Make lifestyle changes. “It’s not willpower, it’s programming,” Dr. Phil says. You have to set your life up for success if you’re going to break your addiction. If you’re trying to stop smoking or drinking, try simple things like not carrying money for cigarette vending machines or cleaning your cupboards of alcoholic beverages Sugary foods ~ Ali!!!. You may have to change the places you frequent, what you do for fun and whom you hang out with. If you are a computer junkie, remove the computer from your house. The best way to stop an addiction is to not have access to it. By Dr. Phil

I have an eating disorder...I like food...I like my snacks, popcorn, York peppermint patties, potato chips, ice cream, pasta...all forms of pasta, bread...you can say I like carbohydrates!!!  But guess what, they don't like me, they are not good for me, but they taste so good!!!

I've been talking with my daughter-in-love, D recently about the Ketogenic diet, she has been talking to her naturopath, and I have been reading about the Keto diet for diabetics and how many diabetics who have chosen to follow a modified Keto diet have been able to reduce or even eliminate some or all of their diabetes medications.  

And the comment Dr. Phil made the other day about "it's not willpower, it's programming" struck a reality chord with me...I need to reprogram how I see food and use food to fuel my body.  Ali disclaimer here ~ I am not turning into a health food freak...that would not be me!!!  Just going to implement some new things in my life...tools for eating healthy...just like I implemented new tools in being a great parent!!! And doing it one step at a time!!!

Watch for more updates of this new route of this journey we call life...one of eating healthier...I will still eat my York peppermint patties at Christmas...right Grands??

So another question for y'all...

...what are some of your favorite low carb dishes?
feel free to email me at ali1257 AT gmail DOT com

what are some ways you substitute healthy foods for those great tasting pasta's?
feel free to email me at ali1257 AT gmail DOT com

I also want to say thanks to those who leave me comments on my blog...I love to hear from y'all so keep those comments coming!!!

Heavy Heart and Another Reminder

Last night we heard about the passing of a sweet man we met in Branson.

Jory Rolf, died unexpectedly last Saturday leaving his sweet wife, Tess and their six children without their daddy.

I sat in disbelief as I read the letter that a sweet friend, mentor and pastor wrote about Jory...and my heart began to ache as I thought of Tess and the children, such a wonderful and loving family who's only goal was and is to share Jesus love with others.  That's what they were doing in Central Florida...sharing the love of the Lord.

If I'm in shock, how must Tess be feeling?

All I can do is keep asking the Lord to comfort her and the children as no one else can in His strength and love. 

Please join Ron and I as we lift the Rolf family up.

The days ahead will be hard and difficult for them

YET we can keep trusting the Lord to take care of them.

If you would like to help Tess and the kids out in a tangible way,

donations are being accepted at

https://give.cornerstone.cc/makebelievers

And this is just another reminder to me that we don't ever know how long we have here on earth with our family and friends...

and so this morning as I was spending time with the Lord, 

trying to wrap my head around my thoughts and tears

I asked the Lord to reveal Himself to me.

Life can change in an instant,

are you right with the Lord?

This morning HE reminded me of the following:

and

Forgiveness,

forgive those who have hurt you/me,

not once, but over and over,

we never know if we will have the chance to say

"I'm sorry" again so say it, mean it

and if you have to say it over and over then do so.

I have been hurt by many, some very close to me, who were supposed to love me, not hurt me YET I know I have hurt many too, some very close to me, who I was supposed to love not hurt and 

YET

God loves me, still and always will.

And He has forgiven me over and over.

I have apologized to those I can for the wrongs I caused,

I hope they know I truly am sorry for hurting them,

and that I work very hard to not hurt anyone anymore.

Hurting someone is Sin,

I know I sin, every day, intentionally, no but it still happens.

BUT every day I ask the Lord to forgive me for hurting/sinning

that is what HE commands us to do.

1 Chronicles 16: 7-36

is a prayer of Thanksgiving.

Sometimes it's so hard to "be thankful" 

especially when we hear of hard things, like the loss of a dear man,

and yet we are reminded

and

and

and

and then 

and then some more

and again

And so, 

even though,

my heart aches for Tess and the children,

I join with them in celebrating that

Jory loved the LORD with all his heart and soul

and he is now singing praises with the Lord.

and that God loves us so much

He gives us chances upon chances

to do good,

turn from sin,

and to 

love one another!!!

My prayer today:

Lord, my heart aches for Tess and the children, 

even though we weren't close friends,

I have special memories of time spent with them

at Branson View Campground, 

on the Showboat Branson Belle,

snuggling the little ones,

being blessed by their music

and so I ask Lord,

be with Tess, the children

and the rest of Jory's family during these difficult days.

Help me to impact the lives of those who I come into contact with,

out here in the middle of no where Texas,

my family and friends, near and far,

and most importantly 

help me to remember to let them know

I love them and care about them

wherever they are and in whatever they are doing.

And THANK YOU Lord for loving me,

with all my foibles and faults,

THANK YOU for forgiving me over and over

and extending GRACE to me over and over.

I love you JESUS!!!

Amen

Seeking God in All We Do

I am always amazed at how the Lord meets me 

right where I am, in ways He only knows.

BY: doodlethroughthebible.blogspot.com

Today as I was reading Proverbs 4:14-27

I am reminded to guard my heart,

seek God's wisdom,

guarding my heart is not just what I think,

but also what I read, watch and listen too.

To stay focused, keep on the path

that the Lord leads me on.

Don't get side~tracked or distracted...

...which is something that easily happens to me.

As many of you know,

we have been gate~guarding in the oil patch

since May 2018 and plan to be there thru most of May 2019

when we plan on doing some traveling,

seeing family, old friends and making new friends

while seeing parts of the US that are new to us.

It is one of our dreams...to travel and see this beautiful country.

And we are thankful to have this opportunity.

So the verses today,

to stay on the path, don't get side~tracked are important,

important to me/us...

BUT 

it leads to the question, is this where the Lord is leading.

All we can say is

...we plan and we will see how things turn out.

I remember a few years back I asked our pastor's wife

"how do you know if you are following God's plan?"

Her reply, "Step out, move forward yet be flexible and most of all Keep Trusting God!!"

and so that is what we do.

Changing gears:

Then in 1 John 2:7

we are told to

and 

1 John 2 9~10

and I begin to wonder,

Lord,do I love ALL those I come into 

contact with or do I cause others to stumble?

Do I watch what I say (or write),

do I share love or hate,

and then my heart cries

LORD, HELP ME to love one another at all times!!!

And forgive me for the times I have caused others to stumble.

Do you ever wonder how others see what you say (or write), do they see love or hatred, kindness or meanness,

and if you hurt someone

do you quickly try to make things right?

When I look back to my past,

I can see so many mistakes I have made

and I think I have made things right with those I have hurt,

or at least tried to...it is hard to make things right with those who refuse to communicate with you...but I have to tell myself,

that it is all in God's hands now.

He knows my heart.

Yes, HE Cares Part II

As I was writing

Yes, He Cares 

my CD player quit working,

had multiple trucks come into the yard

and my mind went blank

so I 

for a bit...

Back to Genesis 2: 5~25

and I reflected on our marriage,

I can definitely say we are helpers to each other.

My bestie and I like to laugh and say

"God sure knew what He was doing when he brought our hubby's into our lives.  Think how messed up we would be without them.  Who else could put up with us??"

I am so thankful for my hubby!!!

We are definitely a team.

We have been asked often how do we do it...

...well we love other first and foremost...

...when one cooks the other does the dishes (usually)

...when one is working, the other is sleeping, well at least while we are gate guards!

...one does the laundry, the other puts it away...

...we go grocery shopping together as one sticks to the list and the other not so much!

we balance each other,

when one is sad the other is happy,

yet at times we cry together

over the same sappy Hallmark movies,

...neither sees the other as better than the other...

we are a team!!!

And together we are thankful for the many blessings in our lives!!

We have children,

two wonderful daughters-in-love!!!

  and 

and Grands!!!

we are blessed beyond measure

and since we as parents want the best for our children

God, as our Heavenly Father

wants the same for us!!

God blesses me over and over!!!

How do you know God blesses you?