New Adventure ~ Gate Guarding ~ McCamey, TX

We have begun another new adventure, makes our name

The Wandering Workentins

TRUE!!

We have just completed our first gate

McCamey, TX

 Not sure why I can't get all the pictures off my phone

I'm sure it is owner/operator

but here is the sky from the yard from earlier today.

This job started has stretched us in some ways

~ figuring new schedules

~ living with lots of dust

~ not going for drives

~ lots of quiet time

At moments it seems like this will be a good thing,

other times the mind 

wonders can I survive this?

I can tell in my writing that 

I'm a bit displaced

as I can't seem to gather my thoughts

to put things in order

So as I would tell my bestie

"this is me rambling"

not sure what I want to say

but want those, if anyone,

who reads this blog

to know we are fine,

we are trying new things

and will continue

to keep moving forward.

Maybe after the second week

the thoughts will come together.

So on that note,

stay tuned!!!

Struggling and Holding On

As I sit here looking at the beautiful scenery here at

Valley of Fires

I wonder how I can feel so down.

I am thankful for a friends message this morning

and felt encouraged.

Emailed my bestie,

felt encouraged,

Wrote a note to a special someone

and ended up in tears 

and am now wising I could take back my note

because, just because!

A friend mentioned a word study they are doing,

said I could buy it on Amazon

well not really,

no money

and having to 

watch where every penny is going right now.

Tears streaming down my face,

want to run and hide,

want to cry out in hurting pain,

and then tell myself to 

And get off the Pity Party Train!!!

Honest Truth ~ Part 3!! And HOPE!!!

As I fell asleep last night,

I found myself praying,

Lord, I trust you

just right now it is so hard!!!

And claimed my life verse

and fell fast asleep.

I woke up a couple of times,

but went right back to sleep.

Woke up at 7:30 this morning,

feeling refreshed.

Quietly got out of bed and went into the living room,

pulled out my Bible,

my devotional journal,

my pens

and opened 

to

today,

May 4

and read the title

and started laughing and crying!!

God you are so Awesome!!!

You always meet me right where I am!!

And so I colored

and I read, 

I cried

and felt comforted!!!

Things may be hard right now

but

GOD has me right where I belong!!!

Right where I need to be!!!

And nothing I am going through,

he doesn't already know about!!!

Thank you Lord

for this new day!!!

For a husband who loves me!!!

And for every adventure 

You lead me on!!!

Is life perfect?

No not at all!!!

But it's okay,

I will be okay,

I am okay!!!

With God I can conquer anything!!!

The next few weeks may be hard,

that's okay,

we've faced hard before

but we will get through this!!!

And through it all 

I will give God the glory!!!

Now let's go visit that

Ghost Town!!!

Honest Truth!! ~ Part 2

Thursday, May 3

wasn't much better.

Didn't sleep well,

tossed and turned,

talked to God,

wondered why ~ does it do any good?

Felt the wind blow some more,

the trailer was rocking

and it was not fun!!!

Ron said,

I didn't want to.

I was having a pity party.

Feeling like life was horrible

Asking what was the use?

But off we went.

Drove about five miles into town to find a grocery store.

NOPE

town looks pretty desolate,

found a gas station,

houses look dilapidated

windy and dusty

didn't say much to each other

did notice one pretty house

found a little store,

bought a loaf of bread,

a bag of chips

and

for me

and a 

for Ron

Drove back to the trailer,

made home made chicken noodle soup

WELL

not really,

took a bag out of the freezer

and reheated it up.

Added some more noodles

And watched TV on the broken TV.

Ron mentioned going to a ghost town on Friday

~ how we have no money!!!

means no gas

need what little we have to get us to Texas in two weeks!!!

More silence!!!

Played solitaire and puzzles on my phone

and went to bed about 10:00 pm.

Might as well,

it's free

and I can!!!

Honest Truth!!

Sometimes 

And the last two days have been just those kind of days.

And sometimes we make

Last week while in Las Vegas we got a couple of phone calls 

that led us to believe we needed to hurry and get to Texas

so we changed our plans and left

Las Vegas Thousand Trails on

Tuesday, May 1.

We drove and drove and end up here

for the night.

The price was right,

sleep was horrible

and we found out we have to plan better for boondocking,

whether it be for one night or many!!!

We didn't eat right, we were both grumpy

and we were tired when we got back on the road on

Wednesday, May 2 at 

6:30AM!!!

We stopped and got gas and found a cute little cafe

and ate an okay breakfast.

And then we drove and drove some more.

Tension was high

and it was not a fun drive.

We called Val (our contact in Texas for our next job)

and found out we don't have to be there till 5/26!!!

First wrong decision ~ should have called her before leaving Las Vegas, should have stayed in Las Vegas at Thousand Trails ~ free camping, beautiful weather, happy memories, lots of things to do for free

BUT

that's not what happened.

We drove and drove,

it was windy!!!

which makes for a difficult day of driving,

short tempers,

and lots of silence in the car.

We ended up here

It is a nice campground.  We have water and electric for $9

per night (thank goodness for Ron's old man pass)

So we have decided to hang out here for a week.

Cheap housing $63 for a week!!!

We got parked

and started setting up the camp

~ did I say life sucks sometimes ~

well it continued.

Ron bought me a stained glass/metal pig

and it shattered!!

Opened the trailer, 

one of my ceramic pigs was shattered on the floor,

one pig canister was upside down on the floor, broken,

my earrings had fallen off the wall into the sink,

sending earrings on the floor, behind the cupboard,

the bar door opened, spilled wine!!

And I just cried!!!

Oh, and I forgot to hook the TV before closing the slide

and now the TV has a big crack right down the center!!!

I wanted to scream, 

OK I did scream,

through a box out the door,

cried and swore!!

Life was really sucky!!!

I sent a text to my bestie

"I've had enough"

I posted on Facebook

"I quit, I'm done"

and then promptly deleted it,

but not before two people commented

"what's wrong?"

Ron set up the outside of the trailer.

I slowly got the inside of the trailer organized,

well not organized, but liveable.

And I cried on the inside,

on the outside

and wanted to just give up!!!

Even made a comment to Ron that I haven't made in years!!!

And then I curled up in a ball,

ate a bag of popcorn,

played a game on my phone

and took a nap.

And that was just Wednesday!!!

Why do I/We keep asking?

The following questions were posted by my sweet 2nd cousin by marriage, Rachel.

What words are there left to use when the one person who should get you the most doesn’t? What is left to say when you’ve tried all your life to be understood and still haven’t been? How do you keep putting your heart out, just to have it broken over and over? What can you do to be seen for who you are, nothing more, nothing less?

I asked her if I could share them and use them to jump into a blog post and she graciously said yes.

This was my reply, 

This is probably the hardest question we ask ourselves. I have asked this question so many times and eventually have to remember that Christ loves me for me, just the way I am and there is nothing I can say or do to change anyone's mind. I wish I could give you a big hug and make those people who you crave so much in your life understand who and what they are missing. I love you Rachel!!! And most importantly God loves you, Andy loves you and you are surrounded by so many friends who love and care about you!!! Sending big hugs!!!!

But the mind is now racing and I find myself wanting to write more...

I can't remember how many times I sat in my therapist's office, her home or our pastor's office and asked "Why doesn't she love me? What did I ever do to make her hate me so much?  How many times to I have to beg her to just love me, heck just like me?"  

First I find myself asking in regards to my mom?  Then my dad? Then my sister? And then I shed tears beyond measure wondering why I am so unloveable?  All I've ever wanted is for my mom to say she loved me.  For my dad to say he loved me, for my sister not to hate me but also those questions still go unanswered and as far as I know in this lifetime will never be answered.  

My mom is no longer here, she has been gone for almost 13 years, my dad it's been almost 17 and my sister has refused to speak to me since September 2008 ~ yes almost 10 years!!!  

I could drive myself crazy by asking these questions over and over.

In fact, I almost did!!!

I almost let the pain of the little girl growing up, being called "idiot child," "one of my three mistakes," and "problem child" win!!!

But with the love of my husband,

the love of my Abba Father, the love and care of

friends and some family members, therapists and counselors who did not give up on me,

the love of my son's, their sweet wives and the smiles of my grandchildren

I came to realize that there wasn't anything

I could do to make my mom love me, my dad smile in his eyes when he saw me,

or even get my sister to like me much less talk to me.

BUT

what I could do is be the woman 

God created me to be!!!

A woman who loves her husband,

even when he does stupid things

and yet loves me unconditionally, day in and day out,

when I have tried his patience to the end.

A mom and grammy who would do anything in her power 

to make her children and grandchildren smile and laugh

and know that no matter what they did or didn't do know

without a shadow of a doubt that they are loved!!!

And mean the world to me!!!

I am the woman God created.  

I am far from perfect

but I am genuine and I care with my whole being.

I love to make others smile,

I hate when people are hurting,

I cry at the drop of a hat,

laugh when I should cry,

swear when I shouldn't,

try to be an encourager

and yet still make mistakes and say stupid things

BUT 

I don't try anymore to get people

to like me ~ either they do or they don't.

I make choices now based on what I feel is right,

what's right for me and my husband.

I say I'm sorry when I'm wrong

and probably even when I'm not.

I wish I could say I haven't asked myself 

the why? how come? what can I do?

in many years

but every once in awhile

I still ask, I wonder

and I even picture having that one more conversation with my sister

(she's the only one left)

and then I have to remember to 

STOP

and look at what I am:

I am blessed beyond measure!!!

I am loved by those who mean the most to me!!!

And

again

So my sweet Rachel,

remember you are loved by many,

the many who bring you blessings,

who are about you

and know what a wonderful

woman, wife and mom

you are!!!

And the one think I remind myself of often,

their behavior and actions 

are their loss.

And we are 

Blessed 

Beyond

Measure!!!!

Changes on the Horizon ~ Yes AGAIN!!

And once again, we are making changes.

Well, in fact, we have already made some changes in our lives and more changes are coming.  

On April 19 we gave our notice at Hi~Road Campground.

Things were just not working for us.

Both of us were having some issues.

And so we began praying for what to do next.

Our friends, Gary & Amy called one day and asked if we had ever thought of Gate Guarding?  Yes, a few years back and now the opportunity was presenting itself once again.  So we decided to take the plunge.

April 22 was our last day at Hi~Road Campground.

We left there on Monday, April 23.

We went to

which has a brand new campground and stayed for two days.

On Tuesday, April 24

we went to the

Tuweap, which is part of the North Rim of the

Grand Canyon!!

We hiked around for about 45 minutes, 

got a bit of a sunburn

but enjoyed seeing God's beauty!!

On Wednesday, April 25

we made our way to 

Las Vegas Thousand Trails.

It has been warm, sunny and wonderful to be back

where our lives started together.  

One day we drove around and found our the church we first met at

Desert Hills Baptist Church

 It has definitely changed from the one building located on a gravel road

to a huge sanctuary

To our first apartment ~ 

inside the red door, up the stairs to the apartment on the left.

The only difference, it has since been painted.

We then drove to the hospital where

Royce & Jamie were transferred after their birth.

Can't believe it has been over 40 years!!!

We are so thankful for the doctors who treated our boys

And then a stop at the cemetery

where Royce was laid to rest.

We were pleasantly surprised to see someone had put 

two pinwheels on his grave.

And then we drove up to Hoover Dam,

Boulder City and Lake Mead

where we spent many a weekend.

Note: the four islands behind us used to be one little island,

that is how low the water level is now.

It has been good to be back in 

Las Vegas for a few days

but work is calling our names.

Tomorrow we begin our trek back to Texas

where we will finish up the paperwork

and get our fingerprints taken (again ~ you would think in this day and age, they would transfer from one business to another).

And begin the next adventure of

our life together.

Stay tuned to see where we go and what we do!!!