Hard Times and Good Times

Today got off to a rough start with the boys.  

I think we were all a bit tired from a late night last night and then jumping into a house meeting shortly after they got up did not make for a good mix.

Add in that Ron and I both had to do about five hours of online training so we would not be out of compliance with our training requirements.

It seemed like once everyone had lunch,

chores got done and everyone had some time to just relax the atmosphere 

seemed to settle down for everyone.

We were also able to have a short meeting with Bossman

about comments the boys were making

and not following the rules about shirts/socks in the common area.

We have a game plan

and that gives us hope.

And I was reminded that my Hope is in the LORD ~

not in me.

Thank you Lord for a day that was filled with stressors but ending on a positive note.

Thank you Lord for friends who lift me up in prayers 

in my time of need.

And most of all 

thank you Lord for the 

the reminder that 

New Month, New Day

As the alarm was going off this morning I thought about rolling over and going back to sleep.  Then I remembered that I really want to get back into having my quiet time before the boys are up, before hitting the ground each morning.  

So up I got.

Took a shower, talked to God ~ isn't that the best place to carry on a conversation with him?

Finished getting ready for the day,

grabbed my Bible and my journal

and then continued spending some time with  my Lord.

I don't know why I am surprised,

but alas God met me right where I needed him to be.

First up was 

which reminded me of 

which led me to thinking of my 

which seems to be ever ending but not much is getting crossed off

and gives my anxiety room to grow!!

I need to be content where I am and not allow myself to get so stressed 

over things that I can't control.

It doesn't mean I can't have goals,

it just means I need to keep them realistic.

So I have decided to have some daily goals, 

weekly goals,

and some long term goals.

I feel like I have just given myself permission

to take things one at a time,

not expecting to be 

I feel like I've been rambling on

and that's okay.

Sometimes that's just how I am.

Random Thoughts

Blog Posts ~ have had many on my mind yet never seeming to find the time to get them written.  Then realized I don't need the internet to write my posts ~ I can write them in Word and then do a Copy & Paste when we have internet ~ you see on our weeks off we try to get away, we take our travel trailer and go camping.  This week we are at Lake Tawakoni, two weeks ago we were at Lake Whitney.  And in a week and a half we will be back at Lake Whitney.

Today, we are sitting in the Family Center and I have been reading Facebook ~ love catching up with friends and family and little gems that come from Jesus just to me!!!

Like this one ~

And this is what I wrote ~

I wanted to like this but at the same time my heart aches as I read through these as they are so true so that leaves me sad. The hardest part is trying to get others to understand ~ and there really isn't a way for them to understand. Thank you Pamela Richards-Woodall for sharing this. I am going to put it on my wall as well.

I wish I could share this with everyone I know, so just maybe they would understand me a bit more.

So often lately I have wished I could sit with Marla Tuski and just share from my heart. Or sharing with Deanna Walton Griffith so we can cry and then laugh together. I long for the little couch in Pastor Charles Gibson office to just ramble on and know that he would pray with me and for me and not judge me yet encourage me. And YES I am thankful for my hubby, Ron Workentin who loves me and tries to understand me, even when he has no clue what to do.

BUT most importantly I am thankful for Jesus who is always ready and willing to listen to me and wipe my tears.

And found myself thinking this would be a good lead into a blog post ~

I have found myself emotionally all over the place the last few weeks, dealing with anger, love, frustration, uncertainty, angst, happy, excited, scared, joyful, anticipating and dreading.

The list could go on and on.  

Struggling with finding time to be with the Lord,

be in His Word,

praying ~ I have prayers in my heart but can't seem to voice them.

Wanting, no needing some girl time yet my bestie is not here, emailing is not the same;

missing my talks with Marla, emailing is not the same;

wanting to just sit and drink coffee, solving the worlds problems, emailing is not the same;

Missing my Pastor, his seriousness and his jokes that only we understand, emailing is not the same;

And then I saw the post above, shared by my friend Pamela.  

Pamela is an author, we have so much in common and she understands and reads between those emails, yes the ones that are not the same.

I want to do so many things ~

write,

speak,

encourage others,

love my hubby in ways he deserves that I just can't seem to do,

make a difference in women's lives,

don't get me wrong, I love our boys here in Waco,

love that we are building relationships,

seeing positive changes in their lives

yet they are not the audience I believe God wants me to share with,

at least not the only audience.

I shared with a friend a few weeks ago via a video chat

what my heart desires are.

She encouraged me,

made me realize I have the best of both worlds.

Work one week, have off one week.

But that week off is just not happening like I dream about ~

time to write,

time to study God's Word,

encourage women in their daily lives as they struggle to deal with issues from the past,

sharing how God has healed me from such pain

because

I also want to spend time with my hubby,

enjoy the area we are in,

check out the new places we go,

work on crochet projects,

and I really need time at home ~

time to clean out closets and totes,

organize notebooks ~ write those notebooks into the computer, to lighten the load of stuff.

Do things with friends, make new friends, get involved in a church ~ so hard to do when time and circumstance don't allow for that involvement.

Build friendships but remembering and respecting boundaries of co-workers.

And SLEEP ~ I really do a lot of sleeping during our off weeks!!!

If you know me, you know I don't function well on 5 to 6 hours of  sleep and about day 7 of short sleep, I am ready to crash and sleep to get caught up and to plan ahead.

I want to have conversations with friends about "Hot Topics"

because emailing and Facebook are not necessarily the best way to do so ~

tone can't be heard, facial expressions can't be seen, dialogue just doesn't happen back and forth in a timely manner.

And then I read something, like above,

and the tears flow

and I write

and find peace inside.

Reflecting

After a long day of travel, 

a trip to the Post Office and grocery store

and then eating Chinese food

we are back home in our little apartment.

Ron is napping so I decided to read through some emails.

First one up was my daily devotion from Guideposts Daily Devotions

“Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. . . . ”

1 Peter 3:15 (niv)

John, how do you always stay so calm, even in the tough situations?” a colleague asked.
I was sitting across the desk from the division president of my company for one last meeting. We were chatting, wrapping things up, before I formally retired. Not expecting the question, I rambled, mentioning my faith and that I hadn’t always been calm. I talked about reading Dr. Norman Vincent Peale’s books in my younger days and how they had helped me.
Later, I felt disappointed that my answer hadn’t come close to capturing God’s work within me to overcome the biggest struggle of my life: crippling fears and anxiety. I asked God to help me overcome all of my turmoil and inner conflict. I learned ways to live my faith. I began to pray and read the Bible daily. I used many of the action steps that Dr. Peale outlined to deal with daily life and to practice peacefulness. From that beginning, God guided me on an incredible journey, step by step, to a life of deep tranquility and quiet confidence.
I wasn’t prepared to give an answer when the question was asked. I missed an opportunity to tell firsthand what God had done for me. However, the conversation may have been another step that God intended for my journey. It caused me to look back and see more clearly than ever His presence and faithfulness throughout my life—and that He is “the reason for the hope” I have.

Digging Deeper: 

1 Chronicles 16:9; Psalms 13:5–6, 71:23

Dear Lord, help me be ready to boldly share stories of Your faithfulness whenever an opportunity comes. Amen.     by John Dilworth **************

I immediately went back to a conversation we had with our 9 year old grandson on Monday afternoon after spending a couple of hours swimming.  

He asked us why would someone choose an animal over their own family.  My heart ached as I wasn't quite sure how to answer him.  I stumbled through my reply ~ I'm not sure.  But what I am sure of is that God tells us in His word,

and even though we might be confused about some things that are said to us and about us we need to just keep putting our

and to remember that Mom and Dad will always have his back and do what is right for him and his brothers and their family.  

And so I sat here praying for him and his whole family 

along with asking God to give me the wisdom and words to share with him

and all those who I speak to 

reminding myself

and that we are never alone.

Home Again

We are safely back here in Waco.

What a great week we had

but like normal it went by super fast!

It was great to see both of our boys,

their sweet wives

and all five of our grands!!!

We spent lots of time swimming, 

played at the park two different days,

ate way too much ~ but the food was delicious!!

Had sleep overs with Grammy and Grandpa,

visited with our family,

shared lots of hugs and kisses!

We said "See ya later"

and can't wait till we see everyone again.

Thank goodness for Facetime!!!

Enjoying the Day!

Feeling Blessed Beyond Measure ~

We are so blessed and sometimes its just the little things that make that so clear in our lives.

A few weeks ago, I was seriously looking for a new job.

We love our boys at MCH but sometimes the administrators drive us crazy!!

But God has a way of showing us we are right where he wants us to be.

You may be asking "how does God show you these things?"

In this case we have had lots of encouraging things said to us and no doors opening on the horizon.

We have applied for about 10 different jobs over the past two months,

one was so promising

and then

doors were firmly closed in our faces.

a friend encouraged me out of the blue,

an admin called out of the blue,

our boss thanked me for something I thought was trivial

and most importantly,

peace reigned in my heart.

And today I am enjoying the blessings of being with grands!!
And doing something I have not been able to do in years ~~
PLAY on the playground and go down the slide!!!

Loving being with our family here in Gresham!!

God is Teaching Me

I woke this morning before the alarm went off thinking about today 

and all the things that need to be done

~ changeover meeting

~ all staff meeting

~ pick up boys from school (two trips)

~ boys to swim tests

~ house meeting to check in with the boys

~ watch the Survivor finale, something the boys and I have been enjoying 

together the past few months 

~ write daily reports

and then for me personally

~ shower & get ready for the day,

even put on makeup, something I haven't done in a long while

~ quiet time and how I want it to be

and once again God met me right where I am

I grabbed my coffee and banana,

sent Ron to the front porch so I could have some quiet

and opened my devotional

is the word for the day!!

Psalm 86

And I took this away

God you are full of compassion, graciousness, abundant in mercy and truth,

You are my strength when I can no longer hold myself up

And because You are these things to me I can be these things in others lives.

Closing in this

As I prepare to meet the day I am encouraged to be all that God wants me to be.

To consider all who I come into contact with today may be dealing with something I have no clue about BUT with the Lord I can be an

encourager and a listener

~ doing for others for what they need and not for what I can get out of it.

And then this came across my Facebook memories

and I am encouraged for today I can choose to do the things I need to do for myself

~ eat breakfast (coffee and a banana)

~ drink lots of water, goal is 100 to 125 oz

~ extend grace to myself as I extend grace to others

Most of all be the woman God has created me to be!!!

How about you?

Do you have any goals for today?

It doesn't have to be giant grand goal, just a goal to accomplish one thing today.  

I would love to hear from each of you reading

and be able to encourage you along life's journey.