Better to Give than to Receive

““In this way we remember the Lord Jesus’ words: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” ”

Acts 20:35 (ceb)

Franklin sits on an empty milk crate on Fulton Street, a block down from my subway exit near the World Trade Center. I don’t know his whole story, but I’ve garnered bits and pieces: he is estranged from his son who struggles with some sort of addiction. His wife died a couple of years ago. He likes worshipping at a nearby church and drops in at another one to get a shower and a free meal.
He has a cardboard sign that says “God bless you” and a cup for donations, but he doesn’t do much to solicit funds. Most of the time he’s too absorbed in a small, well-thumbed copy of the New Testament and Psalms. I like talking to him about that because he reads carefully and loves God, which I find hard to imagine considering the life he leads.
“Rick,” he asked me one morning, thumbing through his Bible, “where does it say ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive’? I think it’s in the book of Acts.”
“I’m not sure, Franklin,” I said. “Let me check my concordance at the office.”
Franklin was right. “It’s Acts,” I told him the next time I saw him.
I give him cash from time to time and things to read. Once I gave him a backpack with food, gloves, a parka, and a warm blanket, most of which were gone the next day. “What did you do with the stuff in that backpack I gave you?” I asked him.
“Gave it to a friend,” he replied.
I was surprised but only for a moment. After all, wasn’t it Franklin who reminded me where to find Jesus’s words about giving?

Digging Deeper:   2 Corinthians 9:7   

Lord, let me be the cheerful giver You know I can be.

From Daily Guideposts, 5/10/17

The above was my devotion this morning.  

It is right where my mind is as we begin our 7 days on duty this morning.

We had a great 7 days off, spending time with friends we call our Texas family, relaxing, sleeping reading, crocheting, fellowshipping with believers and just being immersed into God's love.

Last night as I laid in bed I thought about the coming week and what attitude I need to have as we re-enter the boys world.  Wednesdays are usually a hard day ~ we are learning about what has happened, we are bringing with us the expectation of a good week and praying we don't have any major mishaps during our week on.

We know this week will be busy with the regular stuff, picking kids up from school, taking boys early to school, new things like taking one boy early for church as he sings on the Praise Team, getting one boy to his job each day Friday to Sunday and then you throw in a special concert on Thursday night and figuring out new schedules and getting to know better the two newest boys in our unit...I hate that word - I need to start referring to our home as a home ~ we are not in an institution we are in a 

We are currently reading "The Connected Child" by Dr. Karyn B Purvis.  It is such an eye opener as our boys here at MCH ~ we don't necessarily know all the details of their birth and early years yet so often we expect them to act/react/behave like our own boys that we raised since birth.  But when we stop, take a breath and open our eyes, we realize our boys here at MCH need all the things that our own boys received as babies ~ hugs, love, food, patience, understanding, nurturing, laughter, structure, expectations and consequences that they did not receive.

As I was reflecting this morning and then reading my devotion I was reminded that I just need to give our eight boys here at MCH the love and attention we so freely give to Jamie & Brandon and then to our five grandchildren, to encourage them to become the strong, healthy boys that God has made them and wants them to be.

Please join me in praying for our eight boys and us as we serve these boys and love on them like parents and grandparents should have from the beginning.

Fluid and Flexibility

I have been told this my whole life!!!

And so I continue to learn how to be

Fluid 

&

Flexible!!

We worked our three weeks on, three weeks doesn't sound like much

but

21 DAYS!!!

now that's a long time.

We had 19 GREAT days!!!

The 20th and 21st days were a bit crazy!!!

But we made it!!!

We have had lots of changes in our home unit here at

Methodist Boys Ranch

but after the turmoil

we see the 

Our home has had the same eight boys since last November.

In the past six weeks we have had three boys discharged leaving us with five boys.

Last Wednesday we got a new to us young man who has been on the ranch for quite awhile but due to some different circumstances he was moved into our unit.

1 ~ 14 year old

2 ~ 16 year olds

3 ~ 17 year olds

and anticipating some new changes in the next few weeks.

We have one graduating May 2017

and may be getting another 16 year old this coming week.

Some goodbyes are very hard to handle,

some we breathe a sigh of relief.

Our boys are not bad boys,

but the reality of things is that sometimes

the boys won't work the program,

sometimes their needs are more indepth than what we can handle

but through it all it is sad to see them go.

Sometimes we know where they are going,

sometimes we just know they were released to a different care facility

yet through it all we continue to pray for them.

We have had the opportunity to connect with eleven boys 

since we have been here at MCH.

Some connections have been wonderful,

some very difficult

but the constant through it all is knowing that each of the boys are  

and for that we give 

If you think of us,

please say a prayer

asking the Lord

to continue to give us the

love, grace and mercy

we need as we serve HIM

here at 

Methodist Boys Ranch.

Easter with the Boys

This morning we were up early as the chapel services started at 8:30 AM.

Surprised they all got up without any complaints.

The chapel service was a bit different

as we are just not used to Rap music celebrating the Risen Lord.

The message was great ~ it was on "The Last Word"

Pastor Ahmad asked how many like to get the last word,

nothing like four sets of eyes looking directly at me.

But they are right ~ I like to have the last word!!!

Pastor Ahmad challenged us to seek out what

"last words" 

we let rule our lives.

Is it a negative thought a parent or someone in authority spoke over you?

Or is the Lord saying "you are my precious child!"

and

it reminded me to be careful what the last words are 

each of the boys hear at night as they go to sleep,

when they get out of the van to go to class and 

even the first words they hear in the morning.

My prayer today is "Lord help me to put pleasant words/thoughts in the hearts of these young boys that you have entrusted to us to care for."

What "last words" are you letting direct your life today?

In talking with the boys the past few days we were a bit surprised to hear two of them say they had never received an Easter basket ~ something we have provided for our children for too many years to count...but saddened to hear two of them didn't know what we were talking about.

So off to Dollar Tree and Walmart

I bought six little wooden baskets

and filled them with a chocolate bunny, peeps, jelly beans,

eggs filled with candy, malted eggs and of course a few of these

The baskets were waiting for the boys when we returned from Chapel.

One of our boys even had tears and couldn't stop thanking us.

And all I could think of was Pastor Ahmad asking

What is your last word?

My last word to these boys is that we love you!!!

And though some days are hard

the better days out number them by lots.

We have three more sleeps to go and then we are off...

thinking back to the first day back on this 21 day shift I prayed

Lord help us to have the energy to get through

and He has more than answered that prayer.

And the many prayers of all of you.

As we go into the last 2.5 days on duty, 

we pray for continued peace in our home

and to be a light into these boys lives.

End of Day has Come

What a roller coaster ride today has been!

First off the mountain top ~ 6 of our 7 boys met the requirement to go on the weekly outing.  Much better than last week where only two earned it!!

Down to the valley ~ finding dip, dip cans and spit bottles on the floor and hidden in a cut out of the van seat :(

And a little deeper ~ feeling so discombombulated on the inside ~ beginning week two of new eating habits, increased water intake and seeing

everywhere!!!

I love Peeps!!!!

and feeling as crummy as I was 

I was so 

But I did not succumb!!!

Instead I crawled into my bed and cried

and cried some more

Feeling alone, 

missing my coffee buddy,

missing a good friend to just vent, cry and pray together

missing Christian fellowship

And deeper into the valley I went ~

feeling alone in this journey as a Home Parent ~

questioning our values and beliefs,

wondering if our expectations are so high, they are unachievable?

So I began the climb back to the top of the mountain ~

one step at a time,

first journaling

what did I want?

what did I need?

how do I go about getting it?

So I sent an email,

I cried with Ron

I asked for prayer

and cried some more

And then life hit ~

boys home from school,

phone call from the 2nd in command,

explained some of my frustrations,

dealt with more boys coming home from school,

getting yelled at by a student because HE did something wrong,

more phone calls

and lack of information caused more tears to flow,

wanting to run,

so I ran to my hubby's arms,

he hugged me, we talked,

dealt with boys refusing to follow the program, 

talked to the 2nd in command AGAIN,

cried some more,

talked with and walked with my sweet hubby

(the one who shows me in tangible ways God's amazing love)

And met with the administrator of the ranch,

shared some of the issues,

discussed a young man and what to do,

cried and talked some more

(I really need to buy some stock in Kleenex)

Felt God's peace coming over me,

back to the unit,

put our plan in action,

concerned about hubby driving alone with said student

yet God heard that unspoken fear

and provided a second adult to ride with him

~~ thank you Lord for like minded thinking with others ~~

Went to dinner

Good Ole Comfort Food ~ homemade mac & cheese

only ate one serving

didn't give into really wanting a BIG second helping

Came back to the unit,

one boy working,

one boy to the gym,

leaving four boys playing games

and I got to watch

One boy to the shower,

2nd boy to the shower,

2 boys watching survivor with me

2 boys playing minecraft

=

peaceful evening!

Back to the mountain top of

Now six boys are in bed,

all is quiet on the homefront,

Reports can wait till morning.

Time to crawl into the loving arms of my hubby,

snuggle under the warm blankets,

and rest knowing that

An Emotional Day

My day has been filled with tears and more tears.

Feeling lost and discombombulated.

Missing sweet fellowship with other believers

Heard ~ dreaming that will happen

Anxious ~ about most everything today

Missing girl talks, coffee dates,

and having a couch to sit on and just dump

Missing prayer partners in person

Missing good Christian fellowship

Missing!!!

So the tears fall,

snapping at others way too much.

Cried alligator tears into my pillow

feeling alone even though there are people around

Decisions, decisions, decisions.

Not wanting to disappoint others

Yet wondering where do I fit in

What about my feelings?

My fears?

My anxiety?

No more time to think

Boys coming home in minutes

Need to wipe away the tears

and put on the smiley face.

Going to be one of those nights of 

Answering an Important and Often Asked Question

I posted this on Facebook last evening ~

"I need to talk to a lawyer preferably one in Texas who knows the laws regarding slander and false accusations." As well asking for prayer for chaotic situations here in our unit over the past 24 hours.

Ron and I appreciate all the prayers and encouragement we have received via texts, emails, messenger and phone calls.

One of our friends asked "Why are you staying where you are obviously NOT happy?  God does NOT want us to suffer through life and there is somebody out there for that job AND there is a job out there for you where you can enjoy!  Please stop trying to fit where you are uncomfortable, instead look for joy in your work and it will find you!"

Below is my response to her but really wanted to expand on it.  
If y'all have questions or ideas or suggestions or ????
Please don't hesitate to share.

Why are we staying here - first off I did not take the post as being mean as it is a question we have been and are asking ourselves quite often.

I wish I had an easy answer but even thinking of answering the question is hard as we have strong feelings in multiple directions. On our good days, which are many we are very happy and content yet in the moment of chaos, struggles and raging boys testosterone our hearts break for the pain the boys are dealing with. We have come to love these boys in ways we never thought possible and many in our care are cracking the door of their pain to let us in.

As we have processed the past 24 hours we see lots of good and yes some hard difficult stuff - is bad the right word I don't think so - difficult hurtful painful and definitely scary we (I) immediately in the moment am ready to go out the door to never return but then we/I stop and think what does that model to the boys as Christmas, parents/grandparents, caring human beings - "do we toss the baby out with the bath water"

Answering here is awkward on my phone. Let me grab my laptop and write this out in an easier manner as well as get feedback from Ron Workentin.

I also posted this picture with the post

This morning I shared more about Lent
and used this in my talk

stressing about words
and how hurtful they can be 
even when people say "just kidding"

and how each of us need to be a bit more
patient with each other ~ yes we are all living 
in one home and yes we try to be a family
not by blood but
believing God has brought us all together 
for such a time as this.

Many have asked 
"why don't you just quit?"
Quitting is not the easiest thing
we have financial obligations,
we like to eat, 
we like to travel
and most of all we need to continue to build our savings.
And even more than that,
we really do love these boys
and feel we are here for a reason.

Maybe that reason is not for the boys
but for us to learn more about ourselves,
grow in our faith in the Lord
and building our marriage to even more than what it is.

*******

Right this moment I am thankful
two of our boys have gone home for spring break,
leaving six behind,
tomorrow I take D to an adoption interview which will give us one-on-one 
time and less stressful for me.

Saturday Ron is planning to take the other five boys fishing for most of the day
and then in the evening we will be going to an evening 
worship service which means
we get to sleep in on Sunday morning!!

Monday another boy will be going to his grandmothers
and Tuesday another boy to his sisters
leaving us with four boys of our own
and two from another unit ~ both are fairly easy
and then Wednesday we are off!!!

Well...

Where did three weeks go??

We traveled 2949.2 miles in

18 days

17 nights,

13 of which were travel days.

We traveled through Texas,

Arkansas,

Alabama,

Georgia,

Florida,

Mississippi 

and

Louisiana!!!

We put our toesies in the Gulf of Mexico

got and gave lots of hugs to 

friends and family,

made new friends and

reconnected with family we hadn't seen in years!

And then we returned home,

spent two days 

cleaning, resting, cleaning

and organizing

getting ourselves ready to go back to work.

Today was our first day back at work

and 

things went pretty well.

And for that we are very thankful.

One story to share:

today being Ash Wednesday,

beginning of Lent

I wanted to go to the worship service at the chapel.

I asked the boys if any of them wanted to go

one, C, said yes

and then R came out of his bedroom as we were leaving

and said he wanted to go.  

So off we went ~

we got to the church,

walked in and R said 

I thought we were going shopping

I turned and smiled at him and 

said next time you will be on time for the house meeting

then you would have known we were going to church.

He kept looking at me during the service,

wondered how long it would last.

told him about an hour.

After the service R asked if we could go to the store

since he thought we were going shopping.

Umm,  no but being the nice HP that I am I took him and C 

to McDonald's for a snack.

All during the service

I prayed for the boys to get something out of the service

Afterwards I asked R what he thought it was about

He gave a pretty good summary for someone

who didn't want to be there.

We talked about Lent, Easter, 

the Resurrection ~ opened the doors for some conversation.

So today I give thanks for the opportunities, even unexpected ones,

to share about the Lord.