Saturday, August 11, 2018

Memories

Verse image

Memories
they come and go,
sometimes expected, sometimes not

This week in August
is always full of memories,
some that just envelope me in warmth
and others where the tears run freely

We celebrate the birthday of Jamie.

Jamie at 5 Weeks.

Jamie at 1 Year

Jamie, SR Year of High School

Lots of memories, most of them happy,
some scary ~ like when he had his first seizure at 15 months,
some frustrating ~ like when he skipped school and got into a car accident,
some delightful ~ being a part of his wedding and the birth of his daughter,
memories!!

Hard to believe that our little 3 lb 12 oz, 19 3/4" baby boy,
long and skinny
is now 41 years old, married, has a daughter,
owns his own home,
and brings lots of joy to his family.

Memories of a sad/difficult time
Our precious baby boy,
Royce Alan
was only with us for three short days.
Hard to believe it has been 41 years since
we have seen his dark hair, chubby cheeks,
he weighed in at 4lbs 8oz, 18"
his own little being
or even been able to give a hug or a kiss.
We miss him every day.
And we cherish those three days of memories.

This morning
I opened my scripture for the day
and this popped up.

Verse image

We have traveled some dark and difficult days
but through it all
Jesus has guided our steps,
walked with us,
carried us
and planted us where we need to be 
for every given moment.

And for that we are very thankful.

We love you Royce!!!

And we are so thankful for our family
Treyson, Brandon, Ron, Ali, Alexander, Jamie, Opal
down front, Christopher
(missing Suzanne and Danalyn ~ our two daughters in love)

Max
High School SR 2017

What are you thankful for today?

Friday, August 10, 2018

God's Timing

I get a picture scripture every morning and this morning this showed up in my email:
Logos.com
And immediately I felt warm cuddles from my Abba Father!!!

God's timing is perfect....

Yesterday I got a note from a sweet friend that said she had been thinking about me as she knows this week is not an easy time for me.

God's timing is perfect....

In the wee hours of the morning on Tuesday,
we got a phone call from our son, Jamie.
His 41st birthday!

He always calls us as soon as he gets up
and sometimes even at the minute he was born...
one special memory was I was in the hospital with pneumonia,
Jamie was in Iraq
and my cell phone vibrated at 2:41 am
August, 8
and it was Jamie!!!
He didn't know I was in the hospital
but he knew he wanted to call me for his birthday!!

God's timing is perfect....

I received an email earlier in the week from another dear friend,
saying I had been pretty quiet lately...
yeah...
I think I have been recuperating in my own way
from the emotional and physical roller coaster
we have been on for the past two months.

God's timing is perfect....

This time of year is full of ambivalent emotions...
we celebrate the birthday of Jamie,
hard to believe that little baby boy,
born 8 1/2 weeks early
is now a 41 year old 
healthy, happy, husband and dad!!

And yet at the same time,
tears are on the edge,
thinking of Royce,
who will always be a baby in our heart,
only here for a short time,
but an impact on our life just the same.
And we wonder what type of man he would be today.

and so
Logos.com
we mourn for the loss of our precious baby,
comforted to know that he rests in the arms of Jesus.

And we celebrate the life of Jamie,
and all he has accomplished!!!

we are blessed beyond measure!!!!

Monday, July 30, 2018

Seeing is Believing!!!

Image result for god's perfect timing

Living our Life 
always seems to have it's challenges
but doesn't everyone?

It is hard to believe that 
we have been married for 42 1/2 years...
who would have thunk?

We know a few people who didn't think our marriage would last
but we did!!!
How you ask??

Because just over 42 years ago,
Ron and I gave our marriage to the Lord,
in the back of our little red pickup.
I would say Datsun but some of you wouldn't have a clue what a Datsun was.

Just know it was a small little pickup
sort of like this one,
though ours was red with a raised canopy on it
Image result for 1975 datsun pickup with a shell
we liked that little red truck

except of course when Ron's brother, John along with a few other friends put it up on blocks on our wedding day!!!

And because of God,
our love for God 
and our love for each other
we have been married 42+ years!!!

When we moved to Waco, TX in Summer of 2016 we had our "5 year plan"
work for 5 years, 
buy another motor home
and get  back to full time RV living.

Well that was our plan,
but not necessarily God's plan.

When we lost our job at MCH in October 2017 we decided to go back to full time RV living then, we had the trailer
and so that is what we did!!

We began applying for workamping type jobs; you know at campgrounds.  Ron was done with being a home parent and neither of us really wanted to go back to being managers of a 55+ community...heck we could live in one if we wanted too!!

So we accepted a job at Hi~Road Campground in Mt. Carmel, UT just outside of Zion National Park.
We planned to be there through October 2018
One of the many beautiful views from our trailer.
But working in the high altitude,
doing a job we weren't hired to do,
we felt it was time to move on.

So back to Texas we headed
as Gate Guards!!!
the blue dot is where we are located.
On the corner of 516 & 3398 in Barstow, TX
where there is dust, dust and more dust!!!

Image result for perfect place quotes

And it is the perfect place for us,
for today,
for such a time as this.

You see,
this is the easiest job we could ever ask for 
especially with what we have faced in the last 55 days.

When we first found out Ron had breast cancer and had to have surgery,
our minds did wonder how it would affect our job.
But we couldn't have asked to have a better job 
for such a time as this.

The surgeon asked Ron if he did any lifting for his job.
Ron replied "I pick up a clipboard, a few pieces of paper, a pencil and then take about 250 steps, give or take 10 or so, write down what truck has pulled in, filled in some boxes and walk back the 250 steps or so to our little home on wheels.

She told Ron "that's perfect, once you stop taking pain pills you can go back to work."

Ron has surgery on 
Wednesday, July 18,
recuperated for about 24 hours
and then we returned to our little home on wheels
and relaxed and slept for the next two days.

On Sunday, July 22
Ron returned to work
moving a bit slower,
but working and we are so thankful
for the job that the Lord opened the door for us
to be here in Texas
as such a time as this...
...being able to work and rest as needed while recuperating from 
his surgery!!!

and for that we give 
Image result for thanks
because

Image result for ecclesiastes 3
and 
Image result for god's timing is always perfect


And so we can say without a doubt,
that each and every day we see how
God is taking care of us,
providing for us, 
and we will continue to trust and believe in HIM
and

Image result for god has never failed me

We are blessed beyond measure
and are so thankful 
that Ron continues to recover from his surgery
and we look forward to see
where 
God 
will 
lead 
us 
next!!!

Pondering...Part III

YET

I continue to wonder

what is it God would want me to learn from this journey,
this journey of the past 55 days
and as they continue in the days and weeks to come

to be INTENTIONAL,
to be FLEXIBLE,
to LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY
to TRUST in HIM
to GIVE THANKS

not only for the big things...
Ron is CANCER FREE!!!!!!

but also for the little things
22 friends who have given financially to us
as that is one BIG THING - being able to pay the oncologist on the day of the appointment and save 25% of the bill!!!

to buy lots of fresh fruit and veggies,
to have gas to make it to the various doctor appointments,
on the horizon Ron sees the surgeon this week and next, the oncologist again in three weeks - and we have the gas money for every one of those visits

to be KIND to those we meet each day,
to SHARE what we have been blessed with with others,
to LOVE one another, cherishing each smile,
each email, each note, each phone call
to be THANKFUL for another day to enjoy God's creation

just as Christ tells us
Image result for tomorrow is not promised

remember 

Image result for tomorrow is not promised

and

Image result for tomorrow is not promised

with that
I want to say
Image result for god is good


Pondering...Part II

As I continue to sit here and listen to the hum of the fan,
I felt something land in my bra (I know you can picture me...wanting to scream but I can't as I don't want to wake up Ron) so I frantically feel around, pull at my shirt, can't find anything BUT I know something went down there,
then I feel it, I shake it out and it falls on the tablet,
I try to squish it, it doesn't want to die,
so I push hard with the thumb and hear and feel it at the same time
SQUISH!!!!

Not sure what it was, it's not a fly,
not a bee,
but it has wings, over 1/2" long
and now it is staring back at me,
but it's dead so I can get back to where I left off...

**********
YET
WONDER

DO NOT misinterpret what I am going to be writing,
this is from my heart, deep in the recesses of my mind,
we are so thankful for the many prayers that have been said on our behalf,
for the money that has been sent to help us out
YET
STILL WONDER

where has everyone gone???

Facebook says I have 473 friends,
Ron's Facebook says he has 226 friends
and we have 124 mutual friends
that's a total of 575 friends between the two of us,
and that's just on Facebook

what about friends who aren't on Facebook?
friends made along the journey of life,
friends from the military we still keep in touch with,
friends from the many churches we have attended and been a part of,
friends from all the different jobs we have had over the years,
friends we have connected with due to different circumstances in our lives
~~ births of children
~~ death of children
~~ common ground ~ RV'ing, writing, 4-wheeling 
~~ schooling

I think you get the picture

so many have prayed for us and with us
and we are so thankful

and then I wonder
AM I BEING SELFISH?

IS IT ME? OR IS IT THEM?

so many say
"let me know if there is something I/we can do"

and yet we only hear from a handful of people

Yes we live a very non~traditional life,
we are not physically surrounded by friends and family,
our family is spread across many states 
and we have friends in many more states,

I don't want to sound ungrateful
because I'm not
I'm just confused
especially by those who specifically say
"let me know if there is something I/we can do" 
and then we don't hear from them again

this journey we have been on the last 55 days
has me thinking about my own life,
about the things I say to people,

like
"I will pray for XXX"
yes, I usually send up an arrow prayer,
you know the ones sent in haste just so I can say I prayed for XXX

about when I say
"let me know if there is something I/we can do"
do I really mean it?
do I follow up?

sometimes yes, often times not,
so why does it bother me so much that people have said
"let me know if there is something I/we can do"

I know why or at least I think I know why
because
we get busy with life,
we don't know exactly what to do,
because in reality we are selfish beings,

I was chatting with a friend earlier tonight
and one thing she said is that most people don't intend to not do what they say they will or want to do.
but life gets in the way.

Life just gets in the way.

Ron has asked many times over the past weeks
"I don't know why this has happened to me, but I know there is a reason"

I have wondered to, 
why? how come?  

we may never know
but I do know
that one thing I have learned over the past few weeks
and have been reminded of
is 
I/we need to be more intentional
with the words we say
and the things we do.  

If I ask someone,
how can I help?
I need to be able to follow through with their request

Not just offer because it sounds good
or it's the right thing to say

if I can't be ready to fulfill their request,
I shouldn't ask how can I help
instead 
I should say
may I do XXX for you??

XXX could be say a prayer,
fix a meal or buy a meal,
pick up some groceries,
send a note of encouragement,
send $$...I know one person said to me,
money is tight but here's $20,
and that's how I want to be,
to be able to give a little because all the little's add up to one big lots!!!

YET






Pondering....Part I

As I sit here in the quiet of the wee early  hours of the morning with just the hum of the fan, the lights around the shade shack and soft glow of the moon my mind wanders over what has transpired in our lives over the past six weeks.

YES we are grateful and thankful,
but sometimes the raw emotions just come flowing through

Can it only be six weeks?  It seems like so much has happened and that the roller coaster of life has taken us on a spin making us wonder what is going to happen today, what news will we hear, how do we respond, how will others respond.

55 days since the lump was found
77 days we have been gate guarding
68 days to go before we leave on a time of renewal and reuniting with friends and family, seeing parts of the US never seen before (at least by us)
when you say it in days ~ it seems like a long time

five and a half weeks
doesn't sound too much
one and a half months, seems even shorter

but it has been a lifetime
in those 55 days

Ron found a lump in his left breast,
all by sitting with his arms crossed across his chest.
He didn't say anything for 24 hours ~
out of fear, thinking it might go away,
one of his sisters had been diagnosed with breast cancer in the last two years,
his dad and all of his uncles on his dad's side have had some form of cancer,
his mom and many of her siblings,
two cousins, one on each side of his family
...does he have cancer?
...why him??  why us??
haven't we dealt with enough crap in our lives

BUT then I find myself asking
why not him?
why not us?
why should life's struggles not be a part of us

God doesn't tell us that life will always be a bowl of cherries (thanks Erma Bombeck)
but wait, there are pits in those cherries along with that sweet delightful taste
so why not him? why not us?

so we began the journey of finding out just what was this lump ~~

there were ultrasounds and mammograms,
more ultrasounds and more mammograms,
biopsy
and waiting, lots of waiting
and then the call with the diagnosis
Yes, Ron had breast cancer
(remember men do get breast cancer ~ surprisingly another man in the community was diagnosed the same time as Ron ~ two men out of the thousands that live in the Permian Basin of Texas)

meeting with the surgeon,
setting a date for surgery,
telling family ~ how do you tell your two boys, who are men in their own right, that their dad has breast cancer?  how do you soften the blow?
you don't ~ you just say it
and then you wait for the silence,
no one knows what to say, so there is silence
and lots of nervous laughter

Ron has always told me that I am "special"
well now I get to tell him he's "special" too!!

and then we have to let the rest of the family know,
and then our friends and friends we call framily (more than friends but not blood relatives ~ you know who you are)

sounds of silence then words of concern,
sounds of silence then words of comfort,
sounds of silence then offers of help,
"let us know if you need anything"
"call if you need to talk"
"we are here if you need me/us"

then reality hits...
finances...we have no insurance, where is the money going to come from to pay for ultrasounds ($1250 each time)
mammogram ($250 each time)
biopsy (don't know how much ~ and Pink the Basin has covered most of it ~ thank you to those who donate to this organization here in Texas)
doctor's appointments ($125 here, $200 there, $383 over there with more to come)
pre-op tests
genetic testing ~ recommended by the surgeon and the oncologist ($750 total to have the test taken, run and read)
surgery (was told to expect $10 to $15K, now we are seeing it might be $20K or more)
follow up appointments with the surgeon, the oncologist, more labs
...wondering when will it end???....

So we do something we don't want to do,
that is against our nature, aren't we the ones to help others, but we find ourselves having to ...
ASK FOR HELP
through mightycause.com


and PayPal

thewanderingworkentins@gmail.com

and we ask friends for help,
and we have heard from some,

$1683 has been donated to help with 
Ron's medical bills

and we are so thankful,
words can't express how thankful we are

YET





Saturday, July 21, 2018

Surgery and Home

We are happy to report that Ron's surgery was a success!!!


Dr. M said surgery went well though Ron had a hard time in recovery. 
He tore out his IV twice!!  And kept trying to get up.
BUT once the anesthesia was out of his system,
he was the happy Ron we all know and love!!!

Medical Update:  
~ tumor was 2.5 cm
~ tested two lymph nodes ~~ both were clean and clear!!
~ we see the oncologist on Tuesday morning;
we don't anticipate the need for chemo or radiation 
but won't know for sure till then

Ron is able to return to work
which we will do starting Sunday morning at 6am.
We are not sure of what our schedule will be
but we will work it out.

The nice thing about our job is we set our work schedule
and we have an alarm system o let us know when trucks are coming in
so catnaps are on the agenda.

***********
Some have asked how funding is going for Ron's surgery and medical expenses.
We were told at the hospital we do not qualify for assistance from them because we do not live in their county :(
and are having problems finding funding
1) because Ron is not a woman
2) can find for chemo assistance
Reality is that the resources for women with breast cancer are plenty and readily available, for me it is a totally different story, which is very sad

Our fundraising has raised $1633 so far,
our expenses so far:
$125 for initial appointment: paid cash in full balance 0
$1250 for initial mammogram & ultrasound: paid $200 ~ balance $1050
$284 for BRCA test: balance $284
$250 for processing of BRCA test: balance 0
$200 for initial visit with Dr. M: balance $200
$387 for upcoming initial oncologist appointment: balance $387
Anesthesia: unknown
Hospital: unknown
Dr. M surgery: unknown 

So you can see we have and will continue to incur some major expenses.
If you are able to help in any way, we would greatly appreciate it.

Donations can be made through 
Paypal ~ use thewanderingworkentins@gmail.com
(no fees)

or 

Thank you all for the donations and most of all for your prayers and support.
We love y'all!!!


Memories

Memories they come and go, sometimes expected, sometimes not This week in August is always full of memories, some that just...