Admitting the Truth!

Being truthful and honest is so very important to me...

I hate to be lied too...

and consider myself an honest person

BUT 

in the last few weeks I was being dishonest

with myself!!!

As most of you know

I have Type 2 Diabetes,

seem to be constantly on a diet

of some sort

and yet two weeks ago 

I had a little come to Jesus meeting with myself

I was in the frame of mind

"I DON'T CARE"

about what I was eating,

how I was eating,

or when I was eating.

I also spend a lot of money on 

medication to keep my diabetes in check

AND YET

in reality

I was sabotaging myself,

hurting myself

and wasting a lot of money

and hurting not only myself

but in the long run would be hurting those I care the most about

and so I had this little 

 "come to Jesus meeting with myself"

and thought back to 10 years ago

when I was suicidal,

struggling with feeling okay with myself,

loving myself

and caring about myself

and I took

"suicide" off the table

forever!!!

And realized that

self-destructive behavior

appears in many different forms

and the way I was eating

was a form of self-destructive behavior

and I took it off the table so many years ago

but here it was 

once again, just in a different form

and it had to come off the table

again, forever!!!

And so I shared with a friend,

that my Blood Sugar numbers had been high

and I knew why and I had to stop.

No one can do it for me,

but me.

So six days ago I made the commitment

to stop eating when I go to bed...

yes, I could eat 2 cups of pretzels

or bags of chips or licorice or ????

and I told my friend

to ask me any time

and so for the last six nights I have not 

eaten anything when I've gone to bed!!!

And God has blessed me in that

my BS numbers have been right where they

need to be and I'm feeling better

not only physically

but emotionally

and 

thankful that I was able to recognize,

acknowledge

and change my negative behavior.  

And that leads right into

what I feel the Lord

has been challenging me to be and to see

POSITIVE

in my language

in my actions

in my behaviors

So today I am thankful

to acknowledge

how much the Lord loves me

He gives me second chances,

and He blesses me over and over!!!

*****

And He allows me to bless others and not know the why and how

and then He shows me...

Two weeks ago we found out that one of our drivers was a new

Grandpa to a baby girl and so I quickly got busy and made

 for Juan and his grandbaby girl.

I was able to give Juan the blanket this morning

and he started crying, his wife has carpel tunnel

and is not able to crochet anymore and had said to him she wished

she had a baby girl blanket to give their new grandbaby...

now how cool is that that God led me to make that

blanket and its an answer to someone else's prayer!!!

God is so Good!!!!!!