Being truthful and honest is so very important to me...
I hate to be lied too...
and consider myself an honest person
BUT
in the last few weeks I was being dishonest
with myself!!!
As most of you know
I have Type 2 Diabetes,
seem to be constantly on a diet
of some sort
and yet two weeks ago
I had a little come to Jesus meeting with myself
I was in the frame of mind
"I DON'T CARE"
about what I was eating,
how I was eating,
or when I was eating.
I also spend a lot of money on
medication to keep my diabetes in check
AND YET
in reality
I was sabotaging myself,
hurting myself
and wasting a lot of money
and hurting not only myself
but in the long run would be hurting those I care the most about
and so I had this little
"come to Jesus meeting with myself"
and thought back to 10 years ago
when I was suicidal,
struggling with feeling okay with myself,
loving myself
and caring about myself
and I took
"suicide" off the table
forever!!!
And realized that
self-destructive behavior
appears in many different forms
and the way I was eating
was a form of self-destructive behavior
and I took it off the table so many years ago
but here it was
once again, just in a different form
and it had to come off the table
again, forever!!!
And so I shared with a friend,
that my Blood Sugar numbers had been high
and I knew why and I had to stop.
No one can do it for me,
but me.
So six days ago I made the commitment
to stop eating when I go to bed...
yes, I could eat 2 cups of pretzels
or bags of chips or licorice or ????
and I told my friend
to ask me any time
and so for the last six nights I have not
eaten anything when I've gone to bed!!!
And God has blessed me in that
my BS numbers have been right where they
need to be and I'm feeling better
not only physically
but emotionally
and
thankful that I was able to recognize,
acknowledge
and change my negative behavior.
And that leads right into
what I feel the Lord
has been challenging me to be and to see
POSITIVE
in my language
in my actions
in my behaviors
So today I am thankful
to acknowledge
how much the Lord loves me
He gives me second chances,
and He blesses me over and over!!!
*****
And He allows me to bless others and not know the why and how
and then He shows me...
Two weeks ago we found out that one of our drivers was a new
Grandpa to a baby girl and so I quickly got busy and made
for Juan and his grandbaby girl.
I was able to give Juan the blanket this morning
and he started crying, his wife has carpel tunnel
and is not able to crochet anymore and had said to him she wished
she had a baby girl blanket to give their new grandbaby...
now how cool is that that God led me to make that
blanket and its an answer to someone else's prayer!!!
God is so Good!!!!!!
