Sunday, March 6, 2016
Dad ~ comes in many forms
Woke up this morning from a bad dream, dreamt someone I love very much had died, we were in a very familiar place yet very different yet those who I love dearly were there in the scene. And some who I have not talked to in quite awhile were present and some who I didn't even know.
I sat up on the side of the bed and thought "I am just too tired to get up, I'm just going to lay back down for another hours sleep. But nature called and as I walked across the room I found myself saying "Lord, it was only a dream, take those thoughts away."
And then I remembered today is my Dad's birthday, he would have been 84 today.
This was taken Thanksgiving 1984. During a very difficult time in my life and my Dad came to visit. Timing was not great, we had some rough conversations but in the end I was so thankful my Dad came to see me, Ron and our boys. Shown in the picture is Wanda, my dad's funny, quirky girlfriend ~ she was a bit different but I knew my Dad loved her and that's what mattered, my dad and Jamie and Brandon. One thing that strikes me in this picture is how much Christopher looks like his daddy, Brandon and how much I can see Opal in her daddy's face, Jamie. Lots of memories in that picture.
I loved my Dad, some days I miss him terribly and just wish I could hear him say one more time "see ya later" Happy Birthday Dad!!!!! I love you and am thankful that even though we had some rough times you were able to meet and enjoy your grandsons and spend time with them over the years. I am thankful we had a time to reconcile most of our differences before the dementia settled in and before your passing in 2001. Can't believe it has been almost 15 years since you have been gone.
For many years I struggled about calling God my father...though I loved my dad he was not always the best dad and my step-father was no dad at all.
I will never forget the weeks/months I spent sitting in Marla's living room or Charles' office being reminded that God is the BEST dad anyone could want, He loves me for me, he knows the good the bad, the pretty and the ugly but He LOVES me. It took me a very long time to get to the place where I could call God my Abba Father. The picture above reminds me of the day I sat in Marla's living room and pictured myself reaching out to God, to come and surround me and love me the way a daddy should and as I snuggled into His arms I knew without a doubt HE was my Abba Father, my Abba Daddy and He would never hurt me the way I had been by my earthly dad and men who were in the position to be my dad...my Abba Dad loved me!!!!
I remember a phone call Ron made to Jamie one day to let him know his cousin had had a baby. Ron started the conversation "Jamie I am so glad you are not in jail and I am so glad you don't have a baby." Jamie said "I know who's in jail, who had a baby." Ron told him and then Jamie replied "Dad I don't ever want to be in jail and I am not a father and am not ready to be a dad. There is a definite difference between a father and a Dad, a father is just there and a Dad is engaged and involved in their children's lives."
And that has stuck with me ~ I had a step-father ~ he definitely was not dad material. I had a Dad ~ who did things that weren't right but I know in my heart he loved me the way he knew how to love. More importantly though is that I know my Abba Dad loves me, has loved me through the hard times and celebrated the good times too.
So Happy Birthday Dad!!
After the rough start to my waking up I did get up and go and ride the bike...day 3 is in the books. Rode 2.2 miles, did the course where you go up/down a couple of hills, sweated profusely but I did it. And I am glad I did. It fills good to say I did Day 3!!!
In my time with the Lord this morning I was shown
Isn't this little guy a cutie!!! I love his look of determination ~ just keep being faithful ~ and that's what I want to be faithful, not only to God, my hubby, but also to myself ~ only I can get myself healthy and God reminded me this morning to stick with Him, stay faithful and He will be right by my side.
When I started writing this post this morning my mind was thinking one thing but as I put my fingers on the keyboard things came out differently. Yet I know I am writing from my heart and where and how the Lord leads me.
We continue to pray for Aunt Erma and Uncle Rex. Just asking the Lord to keep Aunt Erma pain free and for the peace of God's love to surround them both. So thankful that Gary and Linda can be there to help them out when so many of us live so far away.
Thank y'all for the prayers for Ron; he slept most of yesterday, well when he wasn't coughing and he slept most of the night with just a tad of coughing, his voice sounds better this morning which we are both thankful for. He won't be putting in a full day today but will be able to help serve coffee at meal times. Yesterday our Enrichment Coordinator stepped in and helped with both lunch and supper and I am thankful for her and her help.
Today is the 3rd of 4 12-hour days...please pray for stamina and energy for me to stay positive.
The second part of my devotion was found here
and this is the encouragement I needed this morning! So this is my prayer for today.
Have a blessed day!!!
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