I woke with tears running down my cheeks and yet feeling very warm and comfortable. Usually tears means I have had one of my night terrors but last night was a bit different.
Scene: standing in the office with Jw (our workamper) and someone else (a lady I didn't recognize) and as I turned around my Mom came out from behind Jw to surprise me with her presence. Needless to say I was shocked to see her. She passed away in 2005. We have not always had the easiest of relationships. Seeing her was a shock but what followed next was more shocking...she walked up to me and took my face in her hands and kissed each of my cheeks. And then she hugged me.
And I felt comforted that she was there with me.
This is and has been a hard week for me for many years and most of the time I feel so alone emotionally. Don't get me wrong, Ron is always supportive of me and nurtures me through many different situations and I have many friends and family who love and encourage me during this time and for that I am very thankful yet it is an aloneness that is hard to describe in words.
Even hours later I feel a tingly warmth and that my relationship with my Mom just healed a bit more.
And for that I am thankful.
I have been missing my Mom a lot this week, thinking about her relationship with me, with my boys, with Ron (he was her favorite and she let him do things that we couldn't do like drive her Cadillac) and wishing that things would/could have been different.
My dream feels like my Mom was letting me know that even though we had some rough times she did love me, even when I questioned a lot of our relationship.
Been thinking of my bestie, Dee as she is remembering her mom as yesterday was her birthday and this is the first birthday without her mom who went home to be with Jesus earlier this past February. HUGS to you my sweet friend as you think about your mom and how you have celebrated her birthday in the past. Love you and praying for you.
What a wonderful dream Ali! I can just imagine the how wonderful you must have felt, still feel after that dream. Many people believe that the spirit of our loved ones reach out to use to comfort us when our minds are relaxed. I love that thought. I know just how you feel about being alone. As much as Neil and I care for each other I don't think I can ever feel the empty void that my parents once filled. I will always feel like an orphan to some extent. I'm always just a little scared and never feel as safe as I did when they were here.
ReplyDeleteI hope you enjoy sweet dreams again tonight.
XO's...Tracy @ Cotton Pickin Cute